One thing that is on my heart right now is that I don't love Jesus well. A friend asked me if I was struggling or prospering in my relationship with God. My response kind of scared me. I said neither, I am just whatever. I am not struggling but I am not in love with Jesus where I desire to read his word or tell people about him. I want to be in love with my creator and not just think of him as ok. He is not ok with me just being ok. If I was ok, he wouldn't of had to die on the cross for my sins. He died for me and I shy away from giving him the praise, I fall into disobedience. I don't love others well. I am materialistic. I want more Jesus. I want to fall in love with you again, and again.
Lord I have said this week I will sacrifice my life for my family. I will take care of them if I have to. I want to, I want to fix these things. I want to care for people. I want to sacrifice my life. But I am scared, lost, and don't know the heck sacrifice even looks like. But I don't want to be so scared that I will shy away from laying my life down. Lord not my will but your will be done. Lord use me in others lives. If that means I have to live in St. Louis for the rest of my life, I hate to say it, but so be it. I want the best for others, if that means my desires come second. Once again I am not sure if I know what I am asking for but let your kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven. Let your kingdom come in my life. Today and forever more.
Lord I pray that I get all the work done this week that I need to.
Lord I pray for quaterlife and Faith that Works Thursday night bible study. Lord bless both groups, fill the leaders with your spirit, bring people, and let my eight week class go by fast so I can attend Thursday night bible study.
So I will end with on this note. On mtv they have this show called "If You Only Knew Me" I think it one of the best shows on tv. High school kids answer finishes the statement If you only knew me...you would know...Pretty much these students are the most transparent they have ever been. I cry every time I watch it. So I think for the next few post I going to add to the statement if you only knew me. My personal slogan is "Get to know me, BABY!!!" Some of the things may be weird, funny, sad, gross, whatever. I will start with this one.
IF YOU ONLY KNEW ME...you would know that I am really hate my little ears. I don't like it when people point them out. I hate when people look at them, and don't dare touch them.