Sunday, May 22, 2011


I am embarrassed to say that the last time I wrote was on my 24th Birthday. I turned 24 in October, that is pretty sad I know.  I think the longer I didn't write the longer I decided I wasn't going to write.  Like stated in my first post I have a desire to write a book one day,  so starting a blog was less intimidating but has obviously been a challenge since its been seven months since writing.  It would be a miracle if I wrote a book.  In the past week two great friends reminded me that I had a blog and then encouraged me to continue. So here I am! I am truly thankful for the encouragement. I don't know how it will turn out, this could be my last blog for another seven months but I really hope not.  This will be a random post of where I have been, where I am, where I am going, and where I want to be.

I was a very busy girl last semester and this semester.  I was a full-time student, I worked, volunteered and interned, I spent time with family and friends.  I visited ETHIOPIA!!! Fell in love with the place, came back and now I am convinced I am one of them.  I had a beautiful new niece who I dearly love. I moved into a new home with two great roommates. I finally graduated from college!! Lots have happened since October, really great things.  I have been really blessed. 

Tonight marks a very interesting moment in my life. 

After a great semester and constantly being busy, everyday was always full of activities.  I can for the first time in a long time say I do not have any set places I have to be.  No school, not internship, no volunteer jobs.  Seriously nothing.  I don't know what to do with my self.  I need this time to do nothing. Honestly I would love to just disappear for a few days, because knowing me having nothing to do will change really fast.  There are still things that I need to get done, and people I want to see who I haven't gotten to see all year.  And though I am so tempted to fill my days up with friends, family, and responsibility.  Its hard for me to set out days just for self.  I so desire to do so.  I wish I had the means to just get up and go.  If I new my car could make it 300 miles and had the finances to just go, I really think I would just disappear.  With zero plans.  But I can't!  

In the fall I will be starting grad school at the University of Missouri St. Louis for my masters in Social Work.  I am sooooooo excited.  But I need a break.  There is this song by rapper Young Jeezy, I need a vacation, and that song is my anthem right now.  I just think I need to be in a season of rest.  I don't know if that season even exist or how long I want it to last.  But not just rest from not doing anything, or sleep, but is still included.  But I also want to just rest in the Lord, and my soul.  I want to be in a season of taking good care of self.  

This summer I want to spend lots of time reading. Right now I am reading the book called The Help by Kathryn Stockett, I am loving this book.  The books that I have started or will start soon is. What Did You Expect?? by Paul David Tripp. This is a book that I would pick up and read before going to counseling and it really made me desire marriage again because I am in a place where marriage and relationships are not that exciting for me.  It is not because I was in a bad relationship or because I don't have good examples of marriage. Honestly I don't really know why it is. It is what it is.  But anyway this book made marriage more real and more desirable.  Radical by David Platt because others have recommended it to me so I am going to try and read it.  Love Wins by Rob Bell is also a most read book for me this summer.  I know many Christians who read my blog will disapprove and that is honestly one of the reasons I want to read his book.  After reading blogs and hearing pastors I respected discount Rob Bell and his book, I was convicted of judging Bell book and him without testing it myself. I think it is so easy for me to judge others from others judgements and I don't think its godly.  Christians who I know who liked the book actually read the book and Christians I know who hate the book and Rob Bell have never thought about picking up the book.  I don't want to be like others who judge a book and have never read it.  These are the books that are currently on the list, I will put updates on new books that I add to the list. 

Anyway, this post may not make any sense, and is pretty long.  These are the things that have been on my mind and heart and things I needed to get out.  Most of my post will be me just making random comments that are on my mind.  So follow if you wish.